Jennifer considered, and decided to try and read one of the books, the last one, A Family Tradition of Bondage. Jennifer found herself hooked by the story before she had turned the fifth page. It was well written, and she could identify with the main characters. Bill had written this, Jennifer could see the similarities in style and language. He disguised it by placing the story in St. Louis, and using many local landmarks in the story, yet it was there, that subtle thing that identified an author. Jennifer found that she had finished the book at four am, and felt suddenly hungry. She made eggs and hash browned potato’s, and some toast. She ate the off schedule breakfast, and showered. She was bone tired, and fell into bed, asleep in minutes. Jennifer woke at noon, feeling refreshed and troubled. The book had been an extremely erotic romance. Love and bondage were intertwined through the story. Worse, she had dreamed that Bill was doing those things to her, tormenting her, teasing. I’ve, uh, got to go.’ I turned to leave. She sighed and lowered her eyes. ‘Jim? I’m sorry. I don’t have an answer for you.’ I stared at her for a moment, surprised at her honesty, realizing it was the first time she had ever apologized for destroying what I had thought was the future. I remembered that night when she had told me she didn’t want me or our marriage anymore and left to be with him. With time, I had learned to tell myself that it wasn’t my fault that she stopped loving me, that it wasn’t some lack in me that had caused her to love someone else, that these things happened, that they were an everyday occurrence and not something that made me a failure in the most basic of relationships. So, she had listened to someone else, been fooled by someone else and stopped loving me and I had been hurt, badly hurt. Life goes on. I looked at Susan. ‘Stop torturing yourself.’ She nodded her head. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered and left. I still resolved to keep my distance from her. My.
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